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The epigram which opens Grandma, Paul Weitz’s 2015 film about a gay woman in her sixties and her teenage granddaughter, is a quote from Myles: “Time passes.

That’s for sure.” Myles is clearly a model upon which Weitz crafted his titular character, played with some serious panache by Lily Tomlin: She’s a lapsed academic; she’s a poet; and she’s dating a younger woman, played by 40-year-old Judy Greer.

Everybody’s cool with women dating up, so long as the older person they’re dating is a man.

T has a 5-year-old son; when the whole family is out together, M is sometimes assumed to be the nanny. “As a mixed black woman,” M says, “that plays into [other people’s] assumptions whenever [T] walks into the room.”M finds that when she does get prying age-related questions, they tend to be from straight men, who will openly question her and T’s compatibility.”Myles, who recounted the incident during a recent phone call, groans.“You want to put a stake through the guy’s heart.”Myles, 66, has been romantically involved with a number of women a few decades her junior.That these age differences are oftentimes considered gross or salacious is pretty galling, since we’re all quite comfortable seeing older men date much younger women: Take all the James Bond films.Take Emma Stone, Scarlett Johansson, and Jennifer Lawrence’s entire careers.

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